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Warning Signs

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Domestic Violence is about Power and Control

It’s not always easy to tell at the beginning of a relationship if it will become abusive.  In fact, many abusive partners may seem perfect in the early stages of a relationship. Possessive and controlling behaviors don’t always appear overnight, but rather emerge and intensify as the relationship grows.

Domestic violence doesn’t look the same in every relationship because every relationship is different. But one thing most abusive relationships have in common is the abusive partner does many things to have more power and control over their partner.

What are the warning signs?

  • Extreme jealousy

  • Possessiveness

  • Unpredictability

  • A bad temper

  • Cruelty to animals

  • Extremely controlling behavior

  • Controls all the finances

  • Sabotage of birth control methods or refusal to honor agreed upon methods

  • Blaming the victim for anything bad that happens

  • Sabotage or obstruction of the victim’s ability to work or attend school

  • Accusations of the victim flirting with others or having an affair

  • Control of what the victim wears and how they act

  • Demeaning the victim either privately or publicly

  • Embarrassment or humiliation of the victim in front of others

  • Harassment of the victim at work

  • Tells you that you can never do anything right

  • Shows extreme jealousy of your friends and time spent away

  • Keeps you or discourages you from seeing friends or family members

  • Insults, demeans or shames you with put-downs

  • Takes your money or refuses to give you money for necessary expenses

  • Looks at you or acts in ways that scare you

  • Controls who you see, where you go, or what you do

  • Prevents you from making your own decisions

  • Tells you that you are a bad parent or threatens to harm or take away your children

  • Prevents you from working or attending school

  • Destroys your property or threatens to hurt or kill your pets

  • Intimidates you with guns, knives or other weapons

  • Pressures you to have sex when you don’t want to or do things sexually you’re not comfortable with

  • Pressures you to use drugs or alcohol and more controlling behaviors

If you need help

Visit One Place Family Justice Center at 530 S. Lawrence Street, Montgomery, Alabama or call 334.262.7378 or if you are in immediate danger Call 911.

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